04 Nov Raising Boys–in a Nutshell
I was talking to Derek this morning, and we were discussing some boy stuff…we both have all sons…and he said, “We try to find teachable moments in the chaos.” (Derek Withrow)
I thought, ya, know, that’s pretty much “raising boys” in a nutshell.
Find teachable moments in the chaos…because chaos definitely finds you.
But, it’s usually the all in good fun kind of chaos.
My husband and I have three boys, and we frequently get asked our method for raising boys. We typically respond with a shrug, and “We don’t know. We’re just blessed.”
And we ARE blessed. All three are well adjusted, high functioning, Christian men with strong moral standards.
And, we don’t just say we’re blessed to be humble or overtly Christian. We really don’t know.
We didn’t set out following a particular technique or method. There were many days we knew for sure we were messing this parenting thing up. But we prayed a lot and were always honest with our boys. We set high Biblical standards for our household, we allowed for grace, and we stressed the importance of honesty and communication. And, by God’s grace, that worked. They weren’t perfect, and neither were we, but we talked through it and worked it out together. So, I guess that was our method? (Shrug)
But then, a few months ago, I was talking to a mom with younger boys, and she asked “the question,” so I thought, ya know, I’m going to ask my boys now that they’re adults. “Why didn’t you rebel? What made the difference?”
One son said, “You and dad always pointed out when things were stupid, and it made sense not to do it.”
OK, cool! So, teachable moments!
And we didn’t just use our own moments. We used other people’s kids doing dumb stuff, TV family scenarios, church kids, school kids, random kids in Walmart….we used everything available to show our boys what these less preferable things looked like, and we talked through the consequences of those actions.
Sometimes it was uncomfortable to talk through those scenarios, but I’d much rather talk through them from an objective standpoint than have to walk through them with my child if we can avoid it.
So my best boy advice, look for those teachable moments in the chaos and the quiet. Talk through scenarios, keep communication open, and guide them through making Godly decisions.
Relatable Bible Verses: Ephesians 6:4, Hebrews 12:11, Proverbs 13:24, Proverbs 22:6
Relatable Songs to Listen for on Walkfm:
Dear Younger Me–Mercy Me
Redeemed — Big Daddy Weave
The Motions — Matthew West
Lead Me — Sanctus Real
Join the Conversation!
What’s your best advice for raising godly boys?
Susan E. Greenwood is a wife, a mother, and a mother-in-law :D. She has over 28 years experience in youth and children’s ministries. Susan loves to write blogs, articles, devotionals, and curriculum. She has blogged for bible.org, and authors Mary Demuth, Lynn Cowell and Ruth Schwenk. Susan writes regularly for skitguys.com. Her passion is to help people live their Life In Stride with the Word of God.